That’s because you’re weak, Amy. Weak.

You need to find ways to convey your intended tone of voice, that’s just the way it is. You could add a smiley. Even “Cool!” already looks a lot more enthusiastic than a dry “Cool.” with a full stop.

“INTO the lagoon”, you say? Promise?

So… you’d sprinkle water on the bottom here? Would that make a difference? I’m trying to understand the logistics.

You seem to think OP made their own dough lol

Also underneath.

This is probably the pizza OP is using*, before being subjected to their culinary artistry. The big yellow chunks are pineapple.

* My reasoning being that the other brand that seems plausible uses smaller pieces of ham.

Does it hurt you or anyone? No? Carry on.

Srsly.

This reads so much like an Onion. Just needs some leopards.

And then the guy’s first name is Orly. What am I, a chronically online millennial, supposed to do with that?

YOU THINK THAT’S WHAT THAT MEANS??? 🤯

You coward, you have to commit to the bit.

Ahhh so that’s why he hasn’t done jack shit. Of course. Makes perfect sense.

The machines don’t like them crushed.

(sentences from 2346 CE)

They don’t live in a place with bottle deposit, so they’re taking out their understandable frustration over this on the poor bottle.

Oh dear. This is uexpected, here of all places :D thank you for reading, this means a lot ヾ⁠(⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠*⁠)⁠ﾉ

Okay but that’s because you haven’t experienced it. It’s not something you consciously control, it’s an automatic process that your brain triggers for you in that particular situation. You currently lack the chemicals to feel that way because there’s no kid to feel that way about for you. Which is fine. Just accept that it’s outside of your frame of reference.

I can’t imagine not wanting to draw all day. How does that work? Why wouldn’t you want to do nothing but draw? So weird how people choose to do other things instead.

I am uncertain why nobody has said this but here goes.

The brain is very good at recognising babies and making you like them, especially if it considers them yours. An important part of pregnancy and giving birth is that the mother’s brain produces hormones that make her attached to the kid. That’s to make sure she doesn’t just abandon the little shit the second it starts being annoying. This also includes the father, if he’s involved with the process, albeit probably to a slightly lesser degree because it’s by proxy. To them, that kid isn’t “new” but, as it were, has been around for several months already.

That’s why you’re coming across as absurdly weird saying that parents can’t have formed an emotional attachment with their newborn.

Edit: I said “she” for mothers and “he” for fathers but any pronouns apply of course.

Are we having the same conversation?

That’s a different question.