Happy Cakeday! 🍰🎂

🎵🎶 Do your balls hang low?

Do they wobble to and fro?

Can you tie them in a knot?

Can you tie them in a bow?

Can you throw them o’er your shoulder,

Like a Continental Soldier?

Do your balls hang low? 🎶🎵

If your balls hang that low, it’s time to retire, sit on the sidewalk in a rocking chair, sip sweet tea, and wait for the nuclear annihilation

Only if you set it up to go to 60° or 85°. Mine has settings for 5° all the way up to 85°. You can still get some benefits without hanging by your ankles.

<Looks at the news the next day]

Dang it! They weren’t Japanese! They’re Laotian!

The one thing that Commodore Perry didn’t trade them was copies of The Three Little Pigs.

/s

Is that the one in the Thames, or another one? I wouldn’t be surprised if there are several around GB

An inversion table can do wonders for joint pain. I know cause I kinda got one for free. Friend moved to Hawaii and couldn’t take it with.

SAAB tried to corner the US market in the '80s and '90s by giving away a shoulder mounted anti tank rocket with each purchase of a car, but their legal team said “that’s not an appropriate way to deal with road rage.”

Kefka was classier than Ganondorf

“Not really. I signed an NDA”

But where does one find a coyote shaped bollard?

Would killing the main breaker at least prevent the heating of the pipes so that the expert isn’t walking into a potentially dangerous situation?

Hey! I’m only 44!

I was using outperform in the evolutionary sense. As in they stick around

I mean, not exactly. Cancer currently kills us because it figured out a version of immortality that will currently outperform your cells.

It is theoretically possible for our cells to mutate in such a way that they have the specific genes that certain jellyfish have, allowing them to become “immortal” by not continuing ad infinatum, and instead having the cell “rebirth” itself like the legendary Phoenix.

Rather than what cancer currently does, which seems to be, a cell forgets how to die and starts replicating its mutated form out of control.

Ted Cruz had better not be Deadpool.

There is so much stupid shit that you can get away with in the military, I have never understood why anyone would even get close to breaking the fraternization rules. They literally give you a copy of the rulebook in boot camp! Did no one read the damn thing?

I was a Nuke though, so up to my neck in daily fires to put out. No time for a social life.

Happy Cakeday! 🍰🎂

I haven’t played in a few years, have they done any of that in EvE Online?