The issue is that Eich doesn’t appear to think it’s wrong for the state to strip same-sex couples of their equal right to marry. This is clear when you read the blog posts he wrote and how he words this, in addition to the fact that he simply never apologized.

Take his community-and-diversity blog post. He says “So I do not insist that anyone agree with me on a great many things, including political issues, and I refrain from putting my personal beliefs in others’ way in all matters Mozilla, JS, and Web. I hope for the same in return.” Note that he says he won’t force his personal beliefs on others “in all matters Mozilla, JS, and Web”. In other words, he can still force his personal beliefs on others outside of those contexts.

Keep in mind, it’s one thing to think its wrong for same-sex couples to start families but to also live and let live, it another thing to spend money so that the state will enforce that opinion on others.

If he had simply apologized for fueling the state’s stripping of same-sex couples equal right to marry, this would have likely all blown over. He did everything but take responsibility for that mistake, likely because he thinks stripping same-sex couples of their equal right to marry is desirable.

From his Blog post where he defends stripping same-sex couples of their equal right to marry.

“I refrain from putting my personal beliefs in others’ way. I hope for the same in return.”

I think most leaders of companies apologize and take ownership when they publicly screw up. The problem in Eich’s case is he doesn’t think it’s wrong to strip same-sex couples of their equal right to marry, so he felt he didn’t need to apologize for helping to make that happen.

One of the founders, Brendan Eich, donated his money to take away the equal right for same-sex couples to marry in California (Prop 8). He never acknowledge that it was mistake, so I can only assume that he truly wants to see the marriages of same-sex couples erased, which is quite a hateful thing to desire.

Some of these are great. “Could you do” takes the burden off the other person to propose something initially, and suggests respect for their time. “I will need to leave for” begs forgiveness rather than asks permissions, and since you are communicating it, it gives others the opportunity to correct your decision. These are examples of saving everyone time while still communicating them. Being too nice can be a time waste, like saying hello and then waiting for a response before asking your question.

Some of these take away the autonomy of the other person though, and that’s shitty. “When can I expect an update?” is one of those. It would be better to express this in terms of what you need and why, like “I am reporting to X person at noon tomorrow on this, could you give me an update before then?”

Of course, whether you say “just checking in” or “when can I expect…”, if you have no good reason (micromanaging is not a good reason) for checking in then you’re just being an asshole.