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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • It’s not dating exactly, but there are dates involved. The parents pick someone that you’re intended to marry, they bring them round and go “here, we think you should marry this person”. You get chatting with them, go out for some dates, in the modern age you’re probably texting each other etc, but it’s not like western dating where you’re just seeing how it goes, you’re deciding if you want to marry.

    After a short while you would say ‘yup, this seems good’.


  • You don’t commit to a stranger really. Normally you’ve met them and spoke multiple times and the families have spoken throughout both kids lives. I had a friend when I was young who knew her intended spouse from 7 years old and there was no plan to marry until she was finished with uni. She used to carry a picture of him in her wallet like we all had boyband members.

    Even once you get to the marriage bit there’s chances to say no then.


  • Devi@kbin.socialtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.worldDaughters and Fathers
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    6 months ago

    My dad never spent time with me because we didn’t share hobbies, I tried desperately as a kid to get into what he liked, but he never tried to get into what I liked. My mom knew the names of the kids on Barney, what snacks cheered me up, or what friends I had in school, my dad also lived in the house.

    As adults we’ve found common ground in politics and TV, and we have a relationship now, but we’d have a much better relationship if he’d tried to hang out with me back then.

    So I guess my advice is just hang out with her, whatever form that takes. Time is so important.