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They get hated on because :
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they inspect packets. They terminate the TLS sessions at their servers and reencrypt to forward to the backend. This allows them to analyze the data to spot spam, optimize compression and such
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they are used everywhere. If they go down, 30% of the internet goes with them.
My point was that there is no need to replicate everything everywhere. If the data is replicated a cross 5 instances per region for instance, it’s enough for replication needs. If you self host lemmy and subscribes to large communities on your instance, you can quickly overload your server. We need activity pub to be more lightweight if we want smaller instances to thrive.