Every bean deserves to flicked, some beans just need a lil guidance.

Here’s a really disturbing Garfield you can mix in for some variety:

It’s meant to be more of a modest message of hope.

“Buy a douchenozzle, don’t be a douchenozzle” - the greatest lesson humanity will ever learn.

It’s like the cooties… the key ring is the equivalent of “circle circle dot dot now you’ve had your cooties shot” because today’s youth are spoiled.

The times have surely changed. Kids and their fancy ass key rings… all I got was a titty twister & a loogey in the palm.

“I come with the stench of pre-bottled blood of the new born on my breath, & enough peyote to last until the rapture! Now where’s that lil dude? Need somebody to light my fire!”

noo… you’re not moving the wire right. You have to move it back left when it does that & then hit the ff button twice.

_{fuckinghingworksjuatfinedroveacrossthreedamncountiestofindafyckinradioshack25goddamndollarsassholewouldnttakediscover}

See. Told you it works!

_{shitbirdbettersitstillandnotjostlethatdamnwireifuckinlovethissong}

Yup! I have a drawer of these things because my brother & I used to fight over them. Still use one in my dad’s truck when I steal it from him.

Leave those air pods in your pockets kids. Nothing brings the heat like the annoying clacking of the auto reverse on a cassette deck, constantly trying to flip over a cassette that doesn’t flip, while matching the rhythm of your current jam.

Stick it between a couple layers of red velvet & slather it with chocolate cream cheese icing.

I wanna grab a few light beers & turn Todd into a meal.

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I’m just here to remind you we’re all makin’ durty with your inbox this evening [bowchickawowow…].

I had the same experience with norovirus this spring.

Probiotics did the trick, but it was t so much fun.

It’s also the glut of the plot of The Leftovers. Absolutely brilliant show, & Proxima Midnight is in it.

I killed my cilantro & parsley doing that in my herb garden with organic green onions. And I’m completely fine with that.

It’s about the only time I’ll prioritize organic produce over regular produce, those damn onions are delicious!

We must be kin… I signed a number of bibles “Keep on Truckin’ - Love Jesus” and “Babe, we’re outta milk. - Love Jesus” back in the day.

Or 666 comments!

This cannot stand. The best poop must go to help the most worthy.

So we’re just abandoning the time tested “if it’s brown, send it down” protocol?

I mean… if we can’t trust that brown poop is good poop anymore, which way is up?

Can confirm. Water now feels ouch-bangey, with an occasional splat-sticky mixed in.