Why are you holding my birth certificate???

One time I had a candle lit, and my cat was on the floor looking at it with those eyes. You know the ones. The eyes that IMMEDIATELY give away that she’s thinking about doing something bad. I was in the kitchen, but the way the walls are cut out you can see this ledge of the kitchen from the living room.

So the candle is on the ledge, and I’m thinking “she’s going to try to knock the candle to the floor, and set the whole house on fire!!!”

So I grabbed two pans and started banging them together while running at her, and yelling HEY SPEED!!! YOU SEE ME SPEED!!! HEEEYYYY SPEEEED!!! SPEED SPEED SPEED!!! all while banging a frying pan against a pot. Basically just making scary loud noises. And I did this for 10 minutes. It made her afraid of candles. Which is fine. I never had my house set on fire.

Man…now you make me hopeful that Obama has seen the Game Grumps impression of Obama.

Hey, if he wants to watch star trek, and it makes him want to build a rocket, and fly around in space, and leave this planet, go for it!

Whatever gets him off my planet.

The actor? Well of coarse he would watch movies! He’s in the biz!

Sooooooo in one day russia loses 8 tanks, but in a little over 2 years they lost over 9000 of them???

What am I missing context wise here?

…wait, what? You’re pooping so much you’re losing FAT? Like, I’ve heard that sometimes people get backed up, and it’s extra weight. But the weight is still fecies. Elvis was said to have had over 25lbs of backed up fecies inside him when he died.

But you’re saying you’re pooping so much that your body is burning fat??? Thst’s…that equally impressive as it is worrying. How hard are you pushing??? God damn!!!

What if I’m both? I love Mike Tyson, and can’t stand the paul brothers.

I get the first one…no idea what the second references. It sounds like if something from transformers were crossed with the matrix, and handled by santa claus.

Which if that existed sounds kind of terrifying.

…wait, but I wasn’t playing socom…

Ah, a history joke! Don’t forget Coke(Fanta)! Also, the history of Volkswagon is pretty interesting.

The surprising part is, despite everything Henry Ford believed, I don’t remember ever hearing Ford being on that list.

Is it bad that for a brief moment when you said you were switching to a local fiber provider, I thought you were talking about making sure you tdke healthy poops?

Takes sunzu2 to the farm, and hooks them up to the milking machine

…what? I can’t kill you for meat. Nobody eats human meat. But I can milk ya!

Always have been.

steals your game save

Oh, irony!

I’m more worried about someone using AI to harvest the power of all these smart devices to record our daily lives in real time.

Like your samsung tv records what you watch, while you watch. Your samsung phone records gps of where you go, when you go, how often you go. The little voice assistant on android records your speech paterns, and is able to create a voice profile of you.

Your laptop/pc records what you do in real time, even with no software installed on your pc. Even if you use linux, because they’re logging this data outside your control via the link between you and your isp.

The grocery store records what you buy, when you buy it, how often you buy it.

And all these companies start mingling, and sharing data between them. Which as of 2019 is totally legal. They build personalized profiles on you, using AI to collect all the data from the various sources, and ties it all in to one profile. So even though best buy shouldn’t have any reason to know what day you got married, it knows because your wife registered 15 years ago at some bridal registry. Now best buy may not have any use for that info, but its part of your profile. And now everything in your life is documented, profiled, archived, and shared.

And it’s not crazy. Most of this has been happening for decades. The only part missing is the AI to gather these individual profiles, and tie them into one collective profile, and seek information out to add to it.

What’s your shoe size? AI adds data from that time you shopped at footlocker. What’s your phone number? That was added from AT&T. Where do you work? That was gathered from Verizon when you used your place of work to get a discount 2 years ago, and your daily GPS records confirm. What’s your mothers maiden name? That was added from a website you used this as a password recovery option on. Whats your pets names? This was taken from your vet.

All this info and data. Just out there seperately, and now AI can gather it, build a profile on everybody, track you in real time, and not have any oversight or responsibility because nobody is in charge of it. It’s just data shared around.

Meanwhile you wonder about cartoons.

Ohhhhh…please don’t teach your cats that washers/driers are fun kitty hangouts. You have orange cats, and it’s especially true for black cats, but any cat can get acceidently not seen. Then you close the washer, turn it on, and THEN the cat starts making noise. Except, the foor is locked, and filling with water. Even assuming you know which breaker to flip, or even if you just flip the main switch and cut power to the whole house, it still won’t unlock the door. And there’s still water in there. Hopefully you caught it before there’s enough water to drown the cat. Still though, even if it’s only belly high, cats still hate that. Plus now there’s soap all over her, and you’ll need to give her an actual bath, so she isn’t licking soap, or worse, bleach, off her cat hair.

My grandma had a story about how my dad killed a cat in the 60s just by turning on the drier. My dad REFUSED to get a cat my whole childhood because of it. And I love cats. He was afraid I’d kill it. He also refused to let me do laundry.

Stop! Please! I can only get SO erect!

Well…I don’t know why you included Twitter on that list, as they’ve NEVER been part of the fediverse.

Threads is fully integrated. You can personally block them from your end, but thats all you.

It would be like saying “Dominos doesn’t make pizza. It has never been a pizza company”. With your logic being that you don’t like their pizza. Doesn’t make it true just because YOU don’t eat the pizza.

Bluesky I hear conflicting reports on. Some people say it is, because it can be, others say it’s not, because it’s not official. I get both sides on this.

But the last part…is objectively not true. It happrns to work that way FOR NOW. It just isn’t profitable enough for the major players to sink any real resources into.

The fact that it’s adfree has more to do with the fact that 60k people on all of Lemmy with most instances having a few hundred people “on” it, and also advertising companies not understanding the concept of federation.

I could start my own instance, and sell ads to corporate overlords. The biggest problem I’d face is the idea of trying to convince any company with money to spend that money on me putting an ad on for such a small audience.

If/when the fediverse ever gains momentum and becomes mainstream, you can guarentee that ads will be everywhere.

Because nobody owns the fediverse. Which means if I sell an ad on my instance, all federated instances will see the ad. Sure, you could defederate from my instance. But what would happen right now if lemmy.world sold ads? Is every instance going to defederate from the biggest instance, with the majority of communities? That would essentially break the fediverse.

We’re all on a service that you think is immune to centralization, but forgot the core concept that humans like to socially congragate. Which means it’s inevitable that there will always be one big dominant instance. Which means if this thing ever goes mainstream, the ads are coming, and they’ll be on all the big instances.

It could still let me launch programs I already paid for. I bought Warcraft 2 from Epic Games. I can still launch it.

There’s zero reason why I shouldn’t be able to launch a game to play offline.