You look real good man. Get that job!

I had to work on this issue. I used to massively overcook. My house was always the place people just showed up. I had two kids, friends, family, so I was constantly ready to feed an army. Now one is out of the house, the other isn’t home most of the time and husband works evenings. We don’t have company like we used to before Covid, so unannounced guests happen rarely.

I have to be conscious at all times about what I’m cooking. First I had to admit that my perception of how much food I needed was just wrong and could not be trusted. I started using recipes - even for things I know how to make- purely to reference serving sizes. And when all else failed, however much I felt I needed to make, I’d just make half of that

It took some practice but now I make reasonable sized meals and have few leftovers.

Money. They like money. Everyone can use money. I have a nephew who is 29 years old - he came into the family at 13 and so wasn’t really part of the whole gift/celebration thing and didn’t visit with our family much. But he was still a kid and I wanted him to feel like someone was thinking about him on holidays. Now he’s got a wife and a baby and he’s a full ass adult and I don’t care. I still give him $50 on his birthday and Xmas. Because I still love him. Maybe he uses it to gas up his car. Maybe he uses it for diapers. Maybe he buys himself something with it - doesn’t matter. My nieces and nephews always get a present from me no matter their age, but after 13, everyone likes money.

Have you ever heard the phrase “salt the earth”? That’s the fastest way to kill everything in the soil and make sure nothing grows for a very very long time.

Men show emotions all the time. The problem is that the only “acceptable” emotion is anger or resentment. People of any gender validate other peoples feelings based on their own experiences. Because women’s emotions are invalidated as weak or useless, women tend to be more sympathetic to others who experience that same invalidation.

I used to like joe Rogan as a comedian. His entire set was basically the first thing my brain thinks of - an easy crack joke with some wit. But one cannot live one’s life according to the fastest, easiest joke you can conceive of. Deeper thought reveals most of these impulse thoughts as stupid, over simplified and with surface interpretation only. But he seems to just run with it, and has made that his public and political personality. My smart ass should not be making any meaningful decisions.

I had really bad carpal tunnel in both wrists. The first stop was my GP who gave me a referral to a neurologist. They check your sensory response in your fingers and there is a rating system for how well sensation is received by your brain. Once they establish sensation is below a certain threshold they’ll refer you to the appropriate professional. For some, this means physio, stretching exercises, wrist braces, etc. if it’s bad enough, you’ll be referred to an orthopaedic surgeon. My recovery was relatively easy after my surgery. I couldn’t do anything complicated with my hands for a few weeks but I was back at work the next day since I just use a computer - I just finger pecked for a few days. Pro tip- get a bidet fixture for your toilet that activates with a button turn or press instead of a trigger handle. I did both hands at once and just got it over with. No regrets.

They’re lawyered to hell. And they’re aggressive. For fuck sakes they even raided an fbi office and stole all the evidence and no one did a damned thing about it. They have enough money to be able to operate above the law, and certainly above any separation of church and state. Our laws operate on a level that allows them to litigate themselves out of messes, regardless of guilt or innocence, because they have the money to afford people to exploit loopholes, not because they aren’t guilty.

Dove deodorant makes me feel like I sweat more. It also actually somehow makes me smell worse than if I were wearing none at all. Maybe it’s a body chemistry thing.

Scat (musical) - the bee bop beeping boo jibberish people sing in jazz music

Scat (scientific) - animal droppings (poop)

Scat (internet/modern) - people who participate in sex involving poop as part of their kink.

What the fuck is wrong with you ?

Not sure why you’re getting downvoted here. This is accurate with every word.

I have adhd ironically. I don’t do this. Of course I have a lot of trauma from working a high stress job that requires an insane amount of executive function, plus I also do most things at home, and am the main wage earner so I spend my entire day in disaster/panic mode. By the time I’m finished all that the last thing I need is my eternally bored husband jump scaring me at random with this shit. Why can’t he just read a fucking book and entertain himself?

I have talked to him. He acknowledges he does it but doesn’t know why. I’ve explained how stressful it is for me, and he says he understands. I’m bitter because it annoys the fuck out of me, not because he’s trying to “share” with me.

“You’ll see! Just come here!” 80% of the time it’s nothing at all. The other 20% it’s something bad involving blood or damage to our house or something equally awful and devastating. It’s horrible to do the execution walk to see which one I’m going to get. He even once needed stitches and was bleeding everywhere and wouldn’t tell me what he wanted, just that I needed to hurry and he needed a hand. I had to experience the big reveal and see the blood everywhere before he told me he needed a towel from inside the house where I’d just been.

Even emergencies he won’t tell me. “I’ll see” when I get there. Surprise!

This isn’t investing in time, thought and energy though. This is random impulsive things, regardless of if I’m at work, or on a call or just trying to wind down after a 12 hour day. I work a full time job and a side gig, and he is, at this point, semi-retired. I do the majority of the housework and childcare jobs. We contribute to our household income at about 5:1. Im already exhausted, but I feel like he wants me to spend any free second I have entertaining him. He has no interests except his guitar (which he gets his fill of at work as a teacher about 25 hours a week) and his PS5. So if neither of those are entertaining him, then I’m expected to provide entertainment for him. I’m really just tired and frustrated. Have you ever had someone who literally just wants to fill up every spare moment you have with something they need before ? There are days where I’m cleaning the kitchen at midnight and he’s getting snippy because he’s been waiting forever for me to get finished to come and play this game so he can watch (he makes it sound like it’s really a favour for me because he’ll rub my back halfassedly while I play). He’s not investing in anything, and he’s got a lot of energy to spare. I don’t.

Oh come on that’s not fair. What I’m talking about is not a healthy amount. It’s an excessive amount. Sometimes it feels like I’m a tv set. I’m his entertainment. He even makes me play video games I don’t want to play, so he can watch me play. I love spending time with him but I also value my own personal time. And it’s unfair that I should be spending my personal time doing activities that I’m not particularly enjoying so that he can watch me do it like a tv.

I guess that’s what I’m here for, context. I feel like I can’t adequately explain why it’s upsetting when I can’t even explain it to myself. It seems like such a small silly thing to object to but it really freaking stresses me out and ticks me off. Sometimes other people’s thoughts help give context to your own.

I hhaaaaate looking at things on his phone. We don’t find the same stuff funny and I hate videos. I’ve got the joke after the first five seconds, please don’t make me watch 8 minutes of this.

This is good. I’m going to try this.