I was going to type something mean about her but I’m afraid she could sense I was rude on the internet and telepathically cause my skull to explode like a hard boiled egg in a microwave.

I’ve tried all the “quick chill” methods I’ve heard of, but none of them work as quickly or as well as the icecream maker method. Watered down ice with some table salt. Set your unopened beer into a slurry like that, and in about 20 - 30 minutes, it’s surpremely cold. None of the “5 minutes and it’s ice cold” methods work as well or as quickly to be honest. At least not in my climate and in my experience.

Especially since Michael Jackson did not look like Michael Jackson.

♪ You’re so pretty. ♪

♪ Oh, so pretty. ♪

♪ You are pretty and witty and GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. ♪

Do they take regular money or do they make you use credit card? I’m on a fixed income and only deal in cash.

I’m old and unlucky enough to have had many bad sexual experiences, for better or for worse. Unfortunately, by modern standards, I’ve definitely had some questionable experiences where I was taken advantage of (i.e. intoxicated, emotionally vulnerable, etc) and which would likely fall into the non-consensual category these days, so I’ll leave those out, since they were the worst by far.

I’ve had plenty of bad experiences that were totally on me, so for the sake of my own ego, I’m going to disqualify those.

The worse consensual experience I can recall at the moment was awkward and a bit weird. The guy was persistent and braggadocios while pursuing me. He was nice looking and we got along fine online and in phone calls, so when the conversation came up about meeting up for nothing serious, I was okay with that.

We hung out awhile before getting intimate and he was nice enough, nothing seemed off. It’s almost a stretch to call what we did together “sex”, though. He wasn’t able to get an erection. Not a problem honestly, there are still plenty of ways for two guys to have fun. We basically just snuggled together in bed.

At a certain point, though, he just started saying weird or off the wall stuff. I do not know if he had taken some drugs or if he was experiencing a mental health episode. It was like he was hallucinating that he could see the night sky even though we were indoors in his room with the curtains pulled, since he kept talking about how pretty the moon was and things of that nature. And he would ask me the same questions over and over so I know for sure something wasn’t quite right.

If it were maybe 15 years, I could very quickly identify some changes that would easily change the entire trajectory of my life.

At 10 years, it’s hard to say since by today’s perspective, I’ve had my life in reasonable order and heading in the right direction for the past decade. So there aren’t a lot of options to make different choices I’m certain would help me gain things personally. That being said:

I would make a more concerted effort to leave the job I had in 2014. It was a regrettable decision to stay as long as I did and a very toxic work environment for me. I could have made more money almost anywhere else and by that point I had met all the important and amazing people that worked there during my reign, so I wouldn’t have missed out on those friendships.

I do have much better employment skills than I had 10 years ago and most of what I know and do would still apply back then, so I guess I could make use of that to climb the ladder a bit faster and/or earn more money sooner in my career.

I suppose one day to day “exploit” would be that I’d know in advance if any specific purchase was a good decision or not. For instance, I’d know that the car I was going to buy ended up being a fantastic choice or that the piece of crap bookshelf was only going to last me a year before it started to disintegrate at which point I would have to replace it. This could be useful for saving money, since at the very least I could avoid purchasing the stuff that I know would not last or live up to expectations.

I did not have a lot of money back then and certainly not enough to make good use of any stock market foreknowledge from today turn into a big payday. I don’t keep up with lottery numbers. I’m not a sports person, so I wouldn’t / couldn’t make any money off that kind of betting.

If I were motivated enough, I might try to teach myself some music / music production skills and then start releasing my own version of popular songs from the future that haven’t been released yet. Maybe I’d luck out and end up with a lucrative music career! Or similarly, I might try to figure out the patenting process and then start patenting ideas for stuff that had not yet been invented, then do my best to become a bit of a patent troll.

There’s a slim chance I could save the lives of some relatives, but honestly that’s hard to know. I had one family member die suddenly of a heart attack and another that died of an accidental drug overdose. I also had a friend that ignored people’s advice to go see a doctor and ended up the problem she was having was cancer, which she passed away from. Apparently, one of her doctors even told the family that if she had gotten treatment a little sooner, things could have turned out quite differently. We’d been telling her to go for at least a year, but if I could go back I would try a lot harder and be more persistent.

Yes, I’m eating transglutimate polyacrylamide deoxy methylmelamine, 3-5 oxyribocellulose-D, artificial flavors, sodium nitrate, red 40, natural flavors, salt, high fructose corn syrup, mole testicles, and a partridge on a pear tree.

Gouda for him, though. However Brie his 15 minutes may be, let him enjoy it. 20 gallons over the course is not even all that much. That’s barely more than a gallon a month. If you speak Portuguese, that’s like less than 4 liters. A liter a week of cheese isn’t exactly uncommon. That’s like a few salads, some mac and cheese, a pizza, several cheese quesadillas, a box of Hungry Helper, and some cheese strings, plus cream cheese bagels, and a sprinkle of parm on the pizza. Who hasn’t had one of those types of week before?

If you saw a penis and think you are a lesbian, then I have some news for you, sister. You’re probably a lesbian. Cause usually people don’t refer to themselves as lesbian unless they are. Happy Pride!

I’m in neither boomer nor Gen X, but I remember these style of desks. Hated them.

What about if it’s a sexy lady with an eye that’s lazy, a girl that’s fly with a wonky eye, who’s smoking with an eye that’s broken?

If you see a penis in the thumbnail or photo, then you are bi at a minimum. That’s literally the first thing I saw, and I’m gay, so I’m confident that’s how it works.

I never bought any, but I was tempted to try the dill pickle flavored ice cream that I saw for sale last year. I found a review of it https://www.theimpulsivebuy.com/wordpress/2023/11/15/van-leeuwen-dill-pickle-ice-cream-review/ that suggests the flavor was actually pretty tasty. It was a seasonal thing or maybe even a one time thing, so perhaps I’ll never have the chance to taste it myself.

Except that’s exactly how nose canceling ear phones work.

Mine work like this: “Got your nose. Neener neener neener.”

It’s like my grandma always used to say, nothing pleases like a nice hard wiener.

Bees are mostly female and most birds have a pecker, so factual knowledge is the logic I would use to guide my decision.

As an ass man, I didn’t even notice the wiener titties at first because I couldn’t take my eyes off her buns.

In a way, I’m glad people are slowing starting to come around and pay attention to this. For years, any time I would publicly complain about Amazon customer service online, it was very common for people to be completely dismissive or even blame me. I’d hear statements like “sure Amazon sucks, but they have great customer service” and I’d think to myself, just wait until it’s your time to find out that the customer service isn’t what you think it is.

Long story short, the item came with a broken part. Should have been quick and easy to rectify (send a replacement part, send a replacement unit, or refund the purchase). The seller was completely unhelpful. Amazon customer service would not intervene and insisted that I continue fruitlessly corresponding with the vendor, even though they had an “A-to-Z” money back guarantee if something goes wrong. It literally took months of back and forth between me, the vendor, and Amazon customer service before things were finally refunded in full.

So, basically I gave them another chance and they showed that things hadn’t improved a bit.

So what you’re saying is, I need to go ahead and take some vacation from work and real life and go ahead and dive head first into this game. Gotcha.