how could someone view this as anything other than dystopian?

Zardoz Clause!

real men have stinky pee

Basil Hayden, Woodford Reserve, Knob Creek, Angel’s Envy, Old Grandad, Bulleit are all great choices.

Basil Hayden or Woodford would definitely be my first choice though.

ah, the “Shane Gillis” approach

Not sure if this counts as brutalist, but the post made me think of this example from Portland

Life on the outside ain’t what it used to be…

But how can he reach maximum productivity if he’s sitting down ?!

This sounds like a description of empathy, which, as far as I know, cannot be taught, unfortunately.