Basically…. It’s flavor. A lot of it is a question of which package repository you’re using.

some of that is how quickly new features come down the pipes- some will push it immediately… some will stare at it hissing for a decade before deciding maybe it’s not so bad. (New features vs stability,)

Honestly, you’re choice in desktop enviro is more important. I grew up on KDE- mostly because my dad was a gnome guy and teens are rebels like that. There’s also cinnamon regolith and awesome, and you’re going to find those have a huge impact on performance as well as look and feel. (And can absolutely be swapped at will, even if kde plasma is… freaking huge…)