I know this is probably a shitposting meme. And my wife and my female friend, when I asked them, both laughed and said, “Yeah all the time.” I can’t tell if it’s sarcasm.

I asked this because Im a guy, and we’ve heard it all before. The guy plowing a warm apple pie. The ookie cookie BS. The jerk off with a sock. Dudes have done some weird things. I absolutely have found myself relieving some stress in interesting ways.

But veggies: Is this a common thing? Am I going to have to worry that my daughter, when she reaches a curious age, starts exploring with vegetables?

During puberty, should I start giving my children Amazon gift cards or no questions ask money to protect my produce?

I am aware this question is ridiculous and I am prepared to be ridiculed.

  • DaGeek247@fedia.io
    2186·
    5 months ago

    Take their ‘joke’ seriously and buy them each their own vibrator/dildo combo. Be really serious about the whole thing; explain what they are, what they’re for, everything.

    This way, if they weren’t joking, your veggies are safe. If they were joking, you have just completely topped their joke with your own.

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      5·
      5 months ago

      Rabbits suck. Get a cordless magic wand (silicone head) or a we-vibe touch. If she wants a dildo get it separate (also silicone, I’m a bad dragon enthusiast but you can get great silicone dildos elsewhere)

    • Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee
      1478·
      5 months ago

      Dad buying their underage daughter a dildo sounds like a good way to get canceled. Or worse.

      I don’t think it’s a bad idea per-se but I can imagine a ton of ways how that could backfire.

      EDIT: Yeah I misread that

        • Deceptichum@quokk.auEnglish
          80·
          5 months ago

          Dad buying their underage wife and her friend a dildo sounds like a good way to get canceled. Or worse.

          I don’t think it’s a bad idea per-se but I can imagine a ton of ways how that could backfire.

            • SuperEars@lemmy.worldEnglish
              13·
              5 months ago

              Dad buying their underage wife and her friend sounds like a good way to get canceled. Or worse.

              I don’t think it’s a bad idea per-se but I can imagine a ton of ways how that could backfire.

      • Zozano@lemy.lolEnglish
        3·
        5 months ago

        I really dont need any more reasons to lick every dildo I find, but I’ll roll with it.