You’re not far off. As a parent, the idea of someone sexualizing my kids in any way makes me seethe. Like there are people I wouldn’t let my kids be alone with for a second just because they give me bad vibes.
But I do have to concede that it’s a psychological thing that people have, even if I wish they didn’t. I have to imagine that if anyone got to choose, then they certainly wouldn’t opt for that. I agree that the “kill your local pedo” mentality drives these people into the shadows where they won’t seek help, and may actually victimize kids. I just don’t know if I have the ability to look at someone with that mindset and be totally free of judgement, even if they do seek help.
I’m a parent too, and here are my thoughts on this. I would rather knowingly live next to a pedophile - someone who outs themselves and goes to therapy - than not knowing about whether or not my neighbor has ever had such tendencies. I wouldn’t forbid them from having contact with my child, if they are sure it is not too hard for them, and obviously, keep them supervised. (I have barely ever left my child with another adult outside of the kindergarten setting though.) As was commented above, pedophilia is a valid and incredibly unfortunate, isolating and lonely sexual orientation and a disorder that can be treated, if not “cured”. I wholeheartedly agree with what you said about society’s hostile mentality driving people into the shadows and keeping them from seeking help.
I also want to point out that the majority of minor sex offenders (sorry I can’t remember the correct term, English isn’t my first language) has no pedophilic tendencies. A lot of sexual assault happens not because of attraction but because of power, dominance, violence, control. It’s something so important to keep in mind. Your local pedo might be the nicest and most harmless guy, while some other, heterosexual and “normal” oriented person in your neighborhood might have actually assaulted a child. Not having pedophilic tendencies does not mean a person won’t commit pedophilic acts.
In a way, my heart goes out to pedophiles. I can’t imagine how incredibly lonely it must be to have a desire for intimacy only with people who you will never, under any circumstances, be allowed to touch. You will never be able to act on your desires. You will never be allowed to live like yourself, be yourself fully. This must be hell. Even without the witch hunt. The least we can do as a society is to offer all the help and support we can get.
(It goes without saying - fuck all sexual offenders.)
I totally understand your point of view as well. You cannot expect someone to be rational when their kids or family is on the line. Its the same reason for why the victims family doesnt have a say in the sentencing of the offende.
You’re not far off. As a parent, the idea of someone sexualizing my kids in any way makes me seethe. Like there are people I wouldn’t let my kids be alone with for a second just because they give me bad vibes.
But I do have to concede that it’s a psychological thing that people have, even if I wish they didn’t. I have to imagine that if anyone got to choose, then they certainly wouldn’t opt for that. I agree that the “kill your local pedo” mentality drives these people into the shadows where they won’t seek help, and may actually victimize kids. I just don’t know if I have the ability to look at someone with that mindset and be totally free of judgement, even if they do seek help.
I’m a parent too, and here are my thoughts on this. I would rather knowingly live next to a pedophile - someone who outs themselves and goes to therapy - than not knowing about whether or not my neighbor has ever had such tendencies. I wouldn’t forbid them from having contact with my child, if they are sure it is not too hard for them, and obviously, keep them supervised. (I have barely ever left my child with another adult outside of the kindergarten setting though.) As was commented above, pedophilia is a valid and incredibly unfortunate, isolating and lonely sexual orientation and a disorder that can be treated, if not “cured”. I wholeheartedly agree with what you said about society’s hostile mentality driving people into the shadows and keeping them from seeking help.
I also want to point out that the majority of minor sex offenders (sorry I can’t remember the correct term, English isn’t my first language) has no pedophilic tendencies. A lot of sexual assault happens not because of attraction but because of power, dominance, violence, control. It’s something so important to keep in mind. Your local pedo might be the nicest and most harmless guy, while some other, heterosexual and “normal” oriented person in your neighborhood might have actually assaulted a child. Not having pedophilic tendencies does not mean a person won’t commit pedophilic acts.
In a way, my heart goes out to pedophiles. I can’t imagine how incredibly lonely it must be to have a desire for intimacy only with people who you will never, under any circumstances, be allowed to touch. You will never be able to act on your desires. You will never be allowed to live like yourself, be yourself fully. This must be hell. Even without the witch hunt. The least we can do as a society is to offer all the help and support we can get.
(It goes without saying - fuck all sexual offenders.)
I totally understand your point of view as well. You cannot expect someone to be rational when their kids or family is on the line. Its the same reason for why the victims family doesnt have a say in the sentencing of the offende.
That’s when you should expect it more. Mistaking what is and isn’t a threat creates danger, also for the family, that needn’t be there.